A child died this week in our community. His funeral is beginning just as I write this. Through complete accident his little life ended at two years, and though I did not know him or his family, I mourn with them. I know that I have been blessed far beyond what I deserve, and at times like this I wonder why bad things happen to good people. I wonder how on earth his parents and family will ever be able to move forward from his loss. I pray for them that they will find peace and joy again in the future. I pray and cry, and pray and cry, and wonder how many times I could have stood in the shoes of anyone who suffers as much, “but by the grace of God…”
I believe that “all things work for the glory of God.” I believe it, but I don’t see it. I was driving away from work yesterday pondering this issue, and I thought of Dom’s fraternity. They had a t-shirt printed one year with their greek motto emblazoned across the back, and underneath it was the phrase, “We don’t expect you to understand.” I used to laugh at their arrogance (sorry, guys), but as I thought of this t-shirt in light of all my prayers for this family, I wondered if God wasn’t saying the same thing to me. “Lori, I don’t expect you to understand.” I am not expected to see the inner workings of God among us…I can’t possibly identify the good that will come out of this terrible situation. I cannot know each person’s heart, each person’s struggle, and each person’s relationship with God. Suffering brings some people closer to him, and I see some people pull away from him in times of loss. But I cannot possibly understand why this baby died, why his parents have to suffer the enormous tragedy of their situation, and how this is all for the glory of God.
No, he does not expect me to understand. But he does expect me to trust. And, trust I will. I know that he sees far more of this life than I do. So, I have to believe that there is something good that will spring forth from this tragedy. I may never get to see it or identify it, but I know it will be there. Just as he is. I will pray some more, I will likely cry some more, but I will trust.