OK, folks. This is where it gets ugly. The gloves are off. I am in an all-out battle with – of all things – are you sitting down? – my deodorant.

Yeah, you heard me. Flip to another bookmark if you don’t think you can handle this conversation. I will keep it as genteel as possible. IF it’s possible.

Natural deodorant. Good freaking grief!!! I swear, it’s all the chemicals that keep us from stinkin’ up the place! The skinny on this is that I have tried three brands of natural deodorant since I trashed my Secret Clear and I am praying this latest brand cuts the muster!

This latest brand, by the way, is for men. I am past the point of caring whether there are horses or halos on the bottle. Just give me something that works! Because Saturday during Mass I had my arm around Victoria when she looked up at me and said, “Um, Mommy, your deodorant isn’t really working that well.”

HORRORS!!!

Granted, it was a 106 degree day and we were in a church with a dying air conditioner. Whose deodorant could withstand that? Really?….

But the fact of the matter is, no matter how unappreciated Victoria’s comment was, she speaks the truth. I immediately assumed the stance: elbows permanently imbedded in my hip bones. And I vowed to find a functional natural deodorant if it is the last thing I do!

So far the Herban Cowboy deodorant is working fine (does that name crack you up, or what?!!), even at my office yesterday where we had faulty A/C and I thought I was experiencing hot flashes. But I have been tipped off to the Jason line as a potential success, so I will be investigating that too.

Changing deodorant is the pits!