Two and a half years ago I bought Dom a flat screen high-definition TV for our anniversary.  It was the first time we were able to exist without a humongous entertainment cabinet taking up the entire wall of our den.  We felt hip, and a little spoiled.  I bought the best name I could buy on that TV – you know, wanting Dom to have the best and all. 

Tonight we came home to a television that will not turn on.  It has been acting a wee bit temperamental over the last week or so, but Dom and I have been too busy battling a virus to deal with the TV  (the literal kind of virus that involves fever and crawling across the bathroom floor – not some pansy technological virus – those are for sissies.)

(Dear computer gods: I apologize for mocking you.  It’s just that I’m feeling much better now and I’d kind of like to show off this newfound sense of being able to hold myself upright again, so I’m acting all big and bad, but that’s really not me at all.  Please don’t eat my hard drive! Thank you kindly.)

So the TV cratered on us.  Won’t turn on.  At all. I got on Samsung’s website and found my exact issue in a hot topics troubleshooting section on the front page of their site.  BINGO!  If they know about the problem, and they have a direct reference to it, then there must be a definite solution, right?  I clicked and was taken to a support form.  I began to fill it out, and it told me my email address was invalid. 

Are you serious?

I pressed on.  It warned me that not providing a valid email address would render them unable to help me. 

It’s valid, dudes.  I’ve checked it four times.  No errors.  Let’s move on. 

I entered my home address.  The site told me my home address was invalid. 

Are you freaking serious???

By the time it let me get past the address issues, and I had entered the model number and serial number of my TV (after crawling around behind the TV and squinting at those tee-ninecy numbers) the website informed me that I was out of warranty (no s**t!) and that I needed to find a shop to repair my TV.  Case closed. 

{Screaming at the monitor and cursing Samsung.}

Dom suggested that I call Best Buy, where we purchased the TV because, after all, they have The Geek Squad, right?  Best Buy told me in no uncertain terms that since I didn’t buy the extended warranty they simply could not help me. 

{More screaming and cursing not only Samsung, but now Best Buy as well}

At this point, Dom says, “You’re in a bad mood, aren’t you?”

“People suck!  Nothing is made to last anymore, and no one cares!!! I’m mad at the companies who think it’s okay to make crap and leave people hanging because we didn’t buy some extra two-bit warranty that probably wouldn’t have covered the problem we’re having anyway!”

So, while we shop for a new television tomorrow, I offer you our version of temporary home theater:

Yes, yes, I know.  We are now your “redneck friends.”