It has taken me a while to adjust to social media.  Frankly, I wasn’t sure it was the place I wanted to be.  Three years ago my only exposure to “social” media was a former single co-worker’s MySpace page, complete with listings of her place of employment and her favorite sex positions.

Ahem! You know where I work, right?

For the record, I don’t typically hold it against people if they want to discuss their own sex life in any media.  Freedom of speech, freedom of press, do whatcha do.  But I honestly figured this chick was a fair representation of the typical things I would see in social media, and I saw no need to be a part of it.

And then The Hubster got on Facebook.  THA NERVE!!!

I have since joined in and found that all of my preconceptions were misconceptions, and I actually LOVE social media.  For me, Facebook and Twitter are two distinctly different creatures.  But there are a few things you won’t find me doing in any media, just for the record…

  1. You won’t see me telling everybody how many glasses of wine I’ve had.  Mostly because I really don’t think you care.  If you do care, then come on over.  We’ll share a bottle.
  2. You won’t see me with 800 Facebook friends. My friend list is a random smattering of people I know and enjoy.  You will, however, see me following people on Twitter that I could never hope to meet in a million years.  That is my own brand of compartmentalization.  It works for me.
  3. While I never turn down a FB friend request if I feel that I know the person, I don’t reach out first to friend men.  Yeah, I’m old-fashioned like that.  Here’s why though: Dom was on FB long before I was.  I came across his email one day and saw notices of friend requests from women I knew.  Say what???  Given my impression of social media (reinforced by the booty-call co-worker), my first thought was what the HELL do these women want with my husband? I hated that feeling.  Turns out, they were friending him because he was there, and then they were telling him to get me on Facebook.  [sigh] Such dears.  But I don’t want to cause that same skepticism for another woman, so believe me when I say I will not ask your hubby to be my friend.  You’re welcome.
  4. Your notifications will never tell you that I have sent you an Easter egg or a sparkly heart.  I think they are cute, but let’s face it: I can barely remember to wish everyone a happy birthday on the appropriate day.  Putting a shamrock on your wall on March 17 is really more than I can muster.
  5. I don’t play the games.  I don’t farm, and I’m not in the Mafia.  I tried to play YoVille once, but I burned some cookies in my bakery and never managed to get my avatar completely dressed.  Nude baking obviously wasn’t working for me, so I gave up rather quickly.
  6. I will not update my status from the scene of an accident.  I truly don’t think my mom wants to login to FB and see that I’m waiting on the cops to arrive.  I’ll tell you all about it when I get home, trust me.
  7. You better never, ever, EVAH see pictures of me inebriated.  Those days are long gone, and if a photo memory ever has the nerve to appear on FB, I will un-tag myself faster than you can say “Holy crap! That’s Lori!!!”

So, you see…as long as social media lets me be social on my terms, it’s all good!!  🙂

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