This week Dom and I initiated the task we have selfishly waited fifteen years to complete. I remember sixteen years ago sitting in his room discussing our future together when I remarked that whatever we did or did not do in this life, I was going to insist that we plan all things for the benefit of each other and whomever else we might bring into the relationship. (You do know I mean kids, right??)
So, all these years later we finally took the plunge and did what was always important but never critical: we met with an attorney to establish our Last Will and Testaments.
And Oh-My-Holy-Gosh, the things you have to think of when preparing those documents!!!
Living Wills, Powers of Attorney, calls to my parents… “Hey, Daddy, are you cool with taking care of all my health and financial decisions if I am incapacitated and Dom is unavailable?” No parent wants to think about such things. I know this. But we have to talk about it anyway.
You already know that I have planned my funeral – right down to the headstone I want and the songs I want sung. But there is so much more to proper planning. I now compare it to planning a wedding. You can plan the party down to the smallest detail, but if you fail to plan for the life that follows, the party is pointless.
You can take that last thought two ways and 1) prepare for your own afterlife, or 2) prepare for the care of those lives that will be left behind in the wake of your departure. I humbly suggest doing both. Just sayin’.
There was an interesting point in the conversation that got glossed over because, well, it really only pertains to people with separate property, and probably A LOT of it. But my mind has been tossing it about today whenever I find myself with little else to focus on. Our attorney mentioned the unusual circumstance of a couple dying together, and the (potential) resulting legal question of who died first. In a state such as Louisiana this issue can tangle substantially complicated estates and wreak havoc for the heirs. For us? Not so much. We is simple folk. But for some people, in preparing for the unlikely possibility of this happening it is advised that couples note in their LW&T that should this phenomenon occur for them personally, it is to be presumed that (insert name here) died first.
Can you even imagine???
I realize that the people this would apply to have such substantial estates that if one of the spouses were in his or her second/third/etc marriage, the passing of one before the other could leave somebody’s heirs out in the cold. Again, totally N/A for me and Dom. But still, this intrigues me. If we had reason to sort this out, how would it read?
I shared this with Mom, who nodded in complete understanding and answered, “We would all know Dom went first because wherever he goeth, thou will follow.”
She knows me better than I know myself, no? I laughed out loud and agreed because I have frequently told him that if he ever leaves me I’m going with him.
So that’s how it would read if we ever had such a reason to spell it all out. It can simply be presumed that he went to leave, and I chased after him…just like I always have. 😉