I had the craziest dream last night. Maybe it was the storms that I slept right through, or maybe it was the Mango Moscato daiquiri that I had with dinner. Or, maybe I’ve just crossed the border into CrazyTown. Whatevs. Point is, I think I need to chill.

In my dream we had an appointment to show our house. But we ALL fell asleep and woke up minutes before the showing time. And our house was messier than it was before we put the sign in the yard. I mean, Tornado Alley had nothing on my home. And the dogs were with us. But Mason was a tiny pocket-sized critter who was barely seen in the dream. Mabel, however, was up to her (almost) usual antics. She had just eaten half a bottle of prescription antacids and her head had fallen off. I knew that I needed to make her drink peroxide to expel her stomach contents, but I didn’t have time right then. The potential buyer was pulling into the driveway. I grabbed Mabel’s head, the chewed bottle, and my bracelet (????!!) and ran downstairs, where Dom was greeting the guy who wanted to buy our house. The guy stated that he had made an offer we didn’t know about, and he wondered why his realtor hadn’t shared the information with us. I apologized for the MESS and glared at the kids for the cheerios strewn on the kitchen floor. To my relief, the guy showed no shock at the bleeding dog head in my arms. I made a mental note to ask mom to help me get the blood stains out of my shirt.

And then the guy sat down at the kitchen table, spread out his Taco Bell lunch and casually told us to go on with our cleaning while he waits for his realtor to show up. I wondered why a single guy would want a four bedroom house, but then I decided it was none of my business. I mean, really, if he wasn’t gonna ask why I was holding a live, bleeding and still blinking dog head then who was I to get all in his business?

Back to reality, I think it was at this time that Dom whacked me on the shoulder and announced not only the time but also the fact that I did not set the alarm. We had almost overslept.

I really want my house to sell. But I think even more than that, I want Mabel’s head to stay attached to her body.

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