Creative or Crazy: Sometimes It’s a Coin Toss

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beginner art, bible verses for homes, painting, word-art

Victoria sat beside me diligently watching as I put the finishing touches on a baby shower gift for my cousin.  “I wish I could paint like you, Mamma.  I can’t paint at all,” she complained.

“Technically, I’m not painting.  I’m writing.  This is no great skill, sweetie,” I assured her.   I had replicated the Suessian poem Baby, Oh Baby, The Places You’ll Go in the shape of a dinosaur.  I had to write the entire poem in said dino shape four times before I got my spacing and letter size just right.  And even then, some letters were wonky, the word “scrumpulous” folded in on itself inside the brontosaurus’ foot, and I realized too late that I had given him the wrong type of tail. The gift recipients seemed not to notice the flaws immediately, and I was grateful.

But I was also inspired.  Driven.  Hooked.

Victoria and I traipsed to our local craft stores the next night in search of a wreath for our front door, and I suggested we just go “look” at the canvases.  They were on sale.  Half-off.  I left Michael’s with a large grapevine wreath (which aren’t so much grapevine anymore as they are tangles of leaves and twigs.  What’s up with that?) and a 36×48 canvas, labeled “Artist Professional Level 1: Beginner”… mostly because it was cheaper, but also because, really, there’s no sense kidding myself.

That’s the basis of this project, but here’s the history.  I originally set out this summer to make two word-art prints for Dom’s birthday.  One would be lyrics of songs that make me think of him, and the other would be quotes from my favorite love-story books.  I gave each a different design so that they would be similar but not the same, and filled in the background with more corresponding text.  This is the result:

Since I couldn’t work on these prints in Dom’s presence and I was itching to keep drawing and word-arting (making up your own words is a fine art, too, you see), I decided to bring the bible verses forward from within our walls where I wrote them in 2012.  I wanted them all in one place where I could view them, and I wanted them to form a picture.  So I shaped words and verses into a tree design and got this:

But I drew this on poster board, which is totally not standard frame size (who knew?) and therefore all but useless unless I wish to thumb-tack it to my wall or hang it on the fridge.  So I figured with a little perseverance I could re-create the tree on a larger canvas.  And since this is for my enjoyment, I could take as long as I need to get it just right.  So began the process:

This photo was taken about an hour too late, actually.  I should have taken the picture before the darker color was applied to the canvas, the point at which it looked as if Mabel had stuck her nose in yellow paint and sniffed all over the canvas.  The same point at which I sat back on the floor, stared up at the easel and said to myself, “Holy crap…I’m worse at this than I thought I’d be!”

It is at this moment that I feel compelled to beg mercy from the judgments of true artists.  I realize I have no clue what I’m doing when it comes to painting.  Refer once again to the post title, please.

Over the next few nights I dabbled in my art project, adding swirly verses and wondering if there was some way to use more color on the canvas and blend it so that it looked more like sunlight behind the tree.  I determined that for my skill level, there was not.

For the next several weeks (er, months) I worked on it a little at a time.  I took over the upstairs game room, setting up my paints and easel near the window for good light, and indulgently leaving a mess no one had to clean up or look at.  I totally felt like Ally in The Notebook, painting in the room Noah created just for her.  Except that I was fully dressed.

Now, here we are, already in another year, and with the Christmas decorations all put away there is a gaping blank space on my living room wall just waiting for the finished tree.  And tonight, that blank wall is filled with the verses that have carried me through the process of making this house our home.  Of course, it’s only now that I realize my efforts to make the canvas match the wall were too well-coordinated.  The canvas blends right into the wall, making the picture look not nearly as artful as I had hoped.  When I lamented the fade-away quality of my color choices, Dom asked what could be done to correct it.  Ahem… start over?

Maybe next year.

 

 

98 Dog-Years

I am grateful, if not a little teary-eyed, to note that today is Mason’s 14^th birthday.  Fourteen years for a Labrador retriever is, quite frankly, impressive.  I remember the life-expectancy poster at the animal hospital where my mom worked for so long stating that a Lab’s life span is usually 10-11 years.  Mason was 9 at the time, and the poster made me blink back tears, hard.

I did not think we would have the gift of 14 years with him. He is definitely the dog that keeps on giving.

Although he is shedding fur by the ton lately, has random difficulty breathing, requires medication twice a day and can barely stay two minutes outside before the humidity threatens to incapacitate him, he still gives enthusiastic hugs and slurpy kisses, he still smiles, and he still wags his tail wildly at the sound of our voices.

The Kiddos and the Monk, 2008

I had worried that Mason wouldn’t survive leaving our old house. I worried that he wouldn’t live to see the new house. I worried that he wouldn’t see his 14th birthday. I don’t know if he will see his 15th. Hell, I don’t know if he’ll see this Christmas. We know we are on borrowed time, and we are grateful for every furry minute of it.

Two Sleepy Puppies, September 2013

Despite that Mason’s favorite foods have always been pizza and French fries, I try to make sure that he eats properly, which I firmly believe has contributed to his life span and overall health. We diagnosed a grain allergy when he was five and had to change his food to some crazy-expensive grain-free brand. When I started evaluating ingredients in our food, I naturally evaluated ingredients in our dogs’ foods and made sure that we only bought treats and foods that met my ingredient standards. I caved recently and allowed Milk Bones back in the house, only to read the ingredients on the box last month and ban them all over again.

What’s a snack-starved pup to do? Well, if you’re my pup, you lay across my pathway in the kitchen and take a snooze while I spend the next hour whipping up some grain-free dog treats.

Monkey Underfoot, September 2013

In honor of Mason, the Best Damn Yella Dog EVER, here’s a treat recipe for the furball in your life.

Grain-Free Dog Biscuits (originally found on More Than Paleo)

1 sweet potato, peeled, cut into chunks and boiled until soft.

¼ c. coconut milk (I was out of coconut milk, so I used almond milk instead)

1 ½ T flaxseed mixed with 2T water to make a paste (I was out of this too, so I used chia seeds)

½ c peanut butter (I think I need to go to the store!)

1 egg

½ c coconut flour (you can use more to thicken if you need to)

Mash up the boiled sweet potato chunks and add remaining ingredients. Blend together and drop by small spoonfuls onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. I scooped out about a teaspoon at a time and patted it flat in my hand to make a smooth, flat biscuit. (You don’t want rough edges.) They won’t spread out at all, so you can put them as close together as you like on the sheet, without letting them touch.

Bake for 40 minutes. Allow to cool. If these had turned out very crunchy, I would have stored them in the cookie jar where the dogs know their treats live. But since these turned out to still be a little soft in the middle, I followed More Than Paleo’s advice and stored them in the fridge. Now the pups think they’re getting some of our food!

Happy Birthday, Monkasaurus! We love ya to the moon and back!

The Cookie and the Dog

Today we celebrate Mabel’s fifth birthday.  I don’t know whether the miracle is that we’ve survived or that she has.

Over the last month our furry youngster has consumed – among other things – two sticks of butter, three innocent frogs, a Silence-of-the-Lambs-size moth-bug-thing (creepy little dude, he was), a bag of deer jerky and an eighth of a 12” cookie cake (which thankfully didn’t have enough chocolate in it to do her harm).  The final two items earned her a public shaming on Facebook and Instagram.  She didn’t even have the decency to look remorseful.

Mabel gives us plenty of reasons to smile, though.  Every morning she insists on pushing the top of her head into me as I give her kisses on each ear.  If she doesn’t feel she has received enough affection, she firmly nudges my elbow until I acquiesce and pet her for another ten minutes.  It is especially annoying when she nudges the elbow connected to the hand holding a full cup of coffee.  And speaking of coffee, she still likes to sneak drinks from my cup.  In her quieter moments, Mabel suns herself in the backyard or snoozes on the puppy bed we have in the living room.  Her “comfy” positions crack us up.

In honor of the Teeny-Weeny Mabellini, (although after eating cookie cake, she’s not so teeny-weeny anymore)  here is the recipe for the homemade cookie cake I found in August (and which I have subsequently made five times.  Kinda takes away my right to scoff at Mabel’s weight, doesn’t it?)

Triple-Awesome Cookie Cake

I found the original recipe online, but for the life of me cannot get back to it.  You would think I could have bookmarked it, but alas…  If I come across it again I’ll be sure to link back.  At any rate, the original recipe is sufficient for a one-inch thick 12” round cake.  I needed more cookie for Aaron’s birthday party, so I increased the batter by half.  It’s just as easily reduced by half, so I’m listing all the appropriate measurements and sizes for your convenience.   It’s important to note at the beginning that I have changed the amount of chocolate chips in the cake because I thought the original recipe called for too much.  (Too much chocolate? I must be ill.) I have made it with full-on chocolate chips some times and half the allotment at others.  If you want more chocolate, feel free to double the portion of chips listed.

	8-9” pan	12” pan	11×15″ pan
Butter, room temp	1 stick	2 sticks	3 sticks
Sugar	¼ c	½ c	¾ c.
Brown Sugar	1/3 c.	2/3 c.	1 c.
Eggs	1	2	3
Vanilla	½ t.	1 t.	1 ½ t.
Flour, all purpose	1c + 2T	2c + 4T	3c + 6T
Kosher Salt	½ t	1 t	1 ½ t
Cream of Tartar	½ t	1 t	1 ½ t
Baking Soda	½ t	1 t	1 ½ t
Chocolate Chips, semi sweet (I use Ghirardelli baking chips)	½ c	1 c	1 ½ c

1. Cream the butter with both sugars in a mixing bowl (medium speed) until fluffy.  Add the eggs and vanilla and mix well.
2. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, salt, cream of tartar and baking soda.
3. Gently blend the flour mixture into the egg and sugar mixture.  Once combined, fold in the chocolate chips.
4. Spread the batter into a lightly greased pan. (I used to swear by Baker’s Joy, until I nixed the preservatives BHA and BHT from my life.  Now I use Spectrum Naturals brand Canola Spray with Flour for a quick and easy dusting.)  The batter is very thick, so I have to push it to the sides of the pan and smooth it out the best I can.
5. Bake at 350 degrees for 25, 30 or 35 minutes (depending on the size), or until the top is golden and you’re drooling at the lighted oven window.

So, yeah, this picture is totally of Aaron’s sheet-cookie-cake in August, and certainly not intended for Mabel on any day.  I used my regular buttercream icing recipe for the white icing, and whipped powdered sugar into homemade chocolate syrup for the accent icing.  To. Die. For!

Happy 5^th Birthday, Mabel.  Leave the cookie cake alone next time, please.

Happy Birthday, Mason!

Today our furry first-born turns 11 years old! Even though I did not celebrate Mabel quite so much on her birthday, plenty of blog posts have been dedicated to her notoriety, so I don’t feel bad doting on Monkey for an entire post on his “77th” birthday!

But he’s just so darn cute, pictures are the only way to do this right. So here they are, snippets of the Yella Dog photo album:


6-weeks old, November 1999



New Year’s Snow, January 1, 2000

Just One of the Boys, 2001

Wearing Daddy’s shirt, 2001

“This babysitting gig is tough!” 2003

“Did somebody say McDawnowd’s?!!” 2004

The Things We Do For The Kids, 2007

Peace, Love, Monkey, May 2008

“What the heck did you bring home?!!” November 2008

After surgery for ruptured ear vessels, 2009.

“You go on to work. I’ll be right here when you get back!” 2010

Eleven years of Monkey love is enough to make us overlook the fur on the sofa, the scratches on the door, and the memories of chewed-up shoes, sofas and remote controls. He’s a genuinely happy guy, and we love him for all the smiles, hugs and wags we get every day.

Happy Birthday, Monk. You’re the Best Yella Dog EVER!!

Happy Birthday, Dominic!!!



Today Dom finally catches up with me. Those 8 months between my birthday in February and his in October seem to last an eternity, what with him and the kids reminding me that I am, in fact, “older.” For the next four months I will revel in the fact that we are once again “the same age,” if only temporarily. In celebration of the most wonderful man I know, here are the top 38 reasons he makes my world smiley:

(Drum roll, please…)

38. When I switched all household, personal care and food products to natural and organic, he didn’t complain one bit. He willingly accepted the natural shave gel, shampoo and toothpaste I imposed on him.

37. He kindly offers to go to the grocery store for me. However, he also understands my controlling and cost-comparing nature, bids me bon voyage, and is always there to help unload when I finally come home from four stores.

36. He is an awesome dad!

35. He is the kid-approved Accelerated Math double-checker.

34. He voluntarily does dishes and floors.

33. He tolerates my home-improvement projects, participates, and acknowledges the success when the project is over.

32. He willingly crawled through attic insulation in the dead heat of summer, scraping skin and smashing his head on wooden beams, all so that I could have separate fan and light switches for a new ceiling fan.

31. He is willing to let me dig up 60 square feet of our back yard for a vegetable garden.

30. When I told him I wanted beneficial nematodes (parasitic bugs) to kill some termites in our flowerbed, he laughed out loud, but let me order them anyway.

29. He has started to take a liking to the bunny rabbits. And even though the bunnies were never his idea or preference, he gently guides the kids in taking care of the rabbits.

28. Despite the fact that he always said, “No dogs on the furniture!” he was the one who first invited Mason up into the bed.

27. He always looks great in a pair of Ray-Bans.

26. He agreed to be the King of Hearts in a joint Halloween costume when we were in college. Who wouldn’t love a man for that?!

25. He lets Mabel lay across his feet at night, even though it is incredibly uncomfortable, because he knows that’s where she’s happiest.

24. He gets tickets for us to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra every year.

23. When I am stressed, worried, or otherwise out of sorts, he sends me to my Mom. He does all he can for me first, and then recognizes when there are things only a mother can fix.

22. He stepped out of his comfort zone so that we could become Eucharistic Ministers together at our church.

21. He calls me at work during the day just to say hi.

20. Even the butterflies love him.

19. He will watch all 6 hours of Lonesome Dove with me anytime I ask. He’s my Gus, and I’m his Lori-Darlin’.

18. He knows the lines from my favorite chic flicks. When I was in my own little world one day in the kitchen talking about a new cookbook I had and making reference to cooking something that “freezes beautifully” I trailed off into quoting the script of Steel Magnolias, finally ending with “Sammy Dewayne Desoto, WHAT is this in my Frigidaire?” From the den, I heard Dom in a southern drawl correctly reply, “Beer.”

17. It was Dom’s idea to go back to school for Accounting credits, and I am grateful that he convinced me to go back with him.

16. He respects nature and enjoys simple beauty.

15. He gladly does all the fun-parent things that I am too scared to do, like riding water-soaked roller coasters.

14. He’s always up for family pictures, even when I’m not.

13. He saves all cards that the kids and I give him.

12. He told me just this week that he buys Coors Light in bottles because he knows that’s the only beer I’ll drink.

11. When we travel, he likes to take extra time to do the fun and unique stuff. He’s willing to rent a car and drive umpteen miles to a winery so we can wander around cluelessly and buy wine that we can’t fly home with. He also will help me drink all the wine before we go home, so the money is not wasted.

10. He has never complained about a single thing I have cooked. If he doesn’t like something, he gently says, “This was okay, but you don’t have to make it again anytime soon.” And if he does like something, he grins and says, “That doesn’t suck!”

9. In a moment of mortal clarity in talking about our wills, I shared with him that I don’t believe I would survive if some cruel twist of fate were to take him from me, and that they would just have to dig his grave big enough for both of us. I’ll never forget the moment…he was reaching into the cabinet for his keys, and he said, “No. If I go first, then you still have work to do. Just know that I’ll be waiting for you.” At any rate, he doesn’t think I’m creepy for planning our funerals.

8. He bought a riding lawn mower. Even though I made fun of it in the beginning, it has proven to be one of the best investments EVER.

7. As Phoebe explained in an episode of Friends, he’s my lobster.

6. He wants me to hunt with him. He has prepared a deer stand this season so that we can sit comfortably together.

5. Moments like this…

4. He plays Chess with the kids, and he kicks my butt in Monopoly.

3. He dances with me in the bar of Ernest’s.

2. He likes my ideas (generally), listens to me talk, and when I wake him up to argue a point, he doesn’t run me out on a rail. He reads my blogs, listens to my music, and supports every wish I’ve ever had for myself. When he disagrees with me, he does so respectfully. He has never said anything to intentionally hurt my feelings, and his gentleness has taught me much about how to treat other people.

1. Even though I know better, he still says he’s the Lucky One.

It is as true today as the first time I said it, Dom: I love you more than life. Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday, Jessica!!!

I am completely remiss in not having posted this yesterday. I spent half the day trying to remember to text Jessica to wish her a Happy Birthday while she parties down at Disney World. Alas, I did not send the text before the day was done, so I am now sending a great big global wish to say Happy Birthday to the sweetest 26-year old I know!!

Here in traditional fashion are the Top Ten Reasons Jessica rocks:

1. She is a terrifically awesome magazine editor.

2. We share a fear of clowns, masks, and creepy faces.

3. She totally supports my natural and organic changes, and we share our experiences with all kinds of products.

4. Jessica said her dog Bonnie doesn’t like new people. Bonnie likes me. I felt like family.

5. We went to see the Goo Goo Dolls together this summer when they came to Shreveport. We had good seats, but Jessica still went right up to the stage and got some amazing pictures. I would never be brave enough to do that.

6. She introduced me to Thai and Vietnamese cuisine.

7. She is always willing coo with me over puppy pictures.

8. She studied in England and has some really cool stories.

9. She’s expecting her first child this spring, and I couldn’t be happier for her!!

10. She is sincerely kind and devastatingly beautiful.

Jess, I hope the Disney crew helped you and Mark celebrate right! See you Monday.

p.s. There will be cake of some sort at the office on Monday. If I have any control over the situation at all, it will be organic. 😉 Love ya!!

Happy Birthday, Margie!

Today is Margie’s birthday, another of my beloved co-workers, and it is my privilege to honor her with a birthday meme. This is a significant birthday, by the way, and I hope she doesn’t kill me for going “live” with the news: Margie is 50 today!!!!!! We have appropriately draped her office in black. I know she will get a kick out of it, because she’s fun like that. So, without further adieu, here are the Top Ten reasons I think Margie is so darned awesome (drum roll, please…)

1. Because she can be counted on to wear festive springy-antennae headbands for every holiday.

2. Her rum cake. Need I say more???

3. Because she is known to put crazy signs like this on her office door:

4. Because she is one of my Mom Role Models.

5. Because when I need to vent, she’s there to listen. And then she shows me the humorous side of the situation.

6. Because she knows what I weigh…and judges not.

7. Because she is always willing to convert any recipe we bring her into a healthier concoction.

8. Because we have stood shoulder to shoulder in battle. Granted, the battle front was the postage machine, but we were both exhausted and covered in red ink, so it resembled the worst of any office battle we’d ever seen.

9. Because when I reply to her emails, I’m usually crass and quippy, and it makes her laugh out loud instantly. I love that laugh!

10. Because she is beautiful inside and out, a captivating spirit and a treasured friend.

Happy Birthday, Margie. You rock!

Happy Birthday to Mickey!

Today is my friend and co-worker Mickey’s birthday. We are planning to celebrate in the next few minutes, after which I am convinced we will all be in a sugar-induced coma, and our diets will be shot for the day. So, I need to get this posted now. In the spirit of birthday blogs, I offer the following TOP TEN reasons I love Mickey.

1. She counsels me through my maternal meltdowns.

2. She cleverly decorates our Halloween pumpkin candy-holder to fit all holidays. My favorite was the purple cloth drape covering the pumpkin (and its supply of candy) during Lent.

3. Age is just a number! Mickey is the forever kind of young we all hope to be.

4. She makes a killer muffaletta pasta.

5. She has experienced every school-age homework crisis one can imagine, and she assures me they are all temporary.

6. She has some crazy hysterical stories of things she has done. My favorite of these involves her husband’s boat. 😉

7. She likes details. I like details. We work well together. 

8. She has taught religious education, and is always willing to share great ideas with me for my class.

9. She loves Van Halen. And she informed me of the difference between “Van Halen with David Lee Roth…and that other crap.”

10. She is a survivor. I would wear pink any day for her.

Have a wonderful birthday, Mickey!!!