Parting Words

I read a blog post today that really struck home, in both a good and bad way. A fellow Mom let off some steam about all the “rules” of parenting and how absolutely tiresome they are.  The rant got my attention because the title referenced slathering toxic cream (sunscreen) onto her children. I actually thought it was going to be a post about the dangers of the toxic creams and how regular joes can avoid them, which – as you know – I support. But she went in a completely different direction, humorously focusing instead on how following the do’s and don’ts often prevents us from living the very life we seek.

She’s right. I mean, she’s dead-on, nail-on-the-head, face-palm right.

Why did this resonate with me so? I’m glad you asked.  If you’ve read my blog before, you might have noticed that I only posted twice in 2015. There are two reasons for this: 1) I was actually busier living life than writing about it and 2) I found that the thoughts I was trying to formulate into an educational blog post were often this-is-how-you-should-do-it thoughts which would serve to benefit no one other than me. I don’t EVER want someone to read my blog or anything I’ve written and feel like they are being judged or criticized for the choices they have made. Remember that saying our mothers taught us, “If you can’t say anything nice…”? I’m proud to say that I actually listened. When I read what Sarah wrote in her post, it reinforced my belief that no one should feel like the job they are doing as a parent is not good enough. Ever. And I thought, Amen, sister! To hell with the parenthood rules.

I admit that when this blog started I found a ton of mommy-bloggers who seemed to have their lives tidy and packaged and wrapped in a shiny bow. I had already stepped quite a way outside of my comfort zone to share with the web my successes and my failures at a year of changes toward natural living.  I used the blog as my scrapbook, and then I found the entire mommy-blogging community. I thought they were geniuses, and I envied the amount of readers they had. I bought a domain and linked it to all the stellar blogs I followed. I signed up for Twitter.  I created a Facebook page and invited friends to like it.

To date, my FB page is a dead horse and if I may be honest here, I hate Twitter.  Hate it.

The effort of keeping up with all the e-social requirements was exhausting. I mean, really. How in the hell are we supposed to experience life if we’re sitting in front of a screen watching stats and comments all day long? Seriously? If I do that, then eventually I’m not going to know the kids I’m writing about.

It took me about a year to realize I had better things to do with my life. I ditched my efforts at gaining followers and my readership remained in the single digits.  I could live with that.

So basically, I have two reasons for writing today.  First, I’m thinking that I will not renew this domain when it expires.  I will move all the posts over to my primary blog, www.DomAndLori.net, just to keep my ADHD and parenting advice available – you know, on the off chance that a reader needs my words to tell him or her that it’s okay to call the shots. (As if.) Essentially, I believe the shelf-life of The Purpose Driven Mom is nearing its end.  It’s cool.  Because honestly, every time Facebook tells me someone looked at my page, I feel this overwhelming responsibility to go write a new post or update the site. But at the same time, I’m not feeling the “purpose,” so the responsibility is mildly aggravating at best. Besides, notifications from all these damn apps are on my last nerve. Example: Pinterest tells me today that I have 25 pins waiting for me.  Um, no, I don’t.  My friends saved 25 pins and Pinterest thinks I care.  Kiss off, already, Pinterest. It’s not like I’m going to suddenly want a knitting pattern and forget you exist.  Give me some dang breathing room. (And yes, for all you techies with the knowledge knots, I have already turned off the notifications.  And I’m still getting them. Figure that one.)

Second, I have some parting words for anyone who reads this post, whether you’re here because you followed the mission from the beginning or because you just stumbled upon the page and felt like spending some time with me. (Thank you for that, by the way.)  I have spent a full six years changing my lifestyle, helping friends with food advice and recipes, and attempting to make my corner of the world a little more natural, if not altogether better. Sometimes I have succeeded and other times I have fallen flat on my face.  But I have learned in these six years that the journey is entirely mine and that my mission includes not judging people who do not walk the same path.  To that end, I feel I have achieved my mission.  But I want you all to know a few things before I bid you adieu, some things I hope will help you on your own journey:

• Please, for the love of everything holy, don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you are less of a person or less of a parent because of your choices. If you love your children and let them know it, then you are a good parent in my book. When you read an internet post or email that says you HAVE to do this or do that, unless it seems like something you have the desire, the time and the energy to try, IGNORE it. If you wanna give it a shake, do so. But if you try it and find that it doesn’t make your life better, then allow yourself to Let. It. Go.  And show the haters your middle finger.
• There is a ton of electronic information on recipes, tips and tricks to make natural living easy. Spoiler alert: 99% of them do not work for the long haul. Trust me.  I have made every recipe for natural cleaner on the internet. I have tried many of the home remedies suggested by mostly-trustworthy writers, and I have found very few things that actually live up to their claims. (Six years, people.  Six long years.) I have found many things that I have no desire to even try. I love coffee, but putting butter in it, despite the claims, does not make it or me bulletproof. And the idea of a coffee enema is a straight-up Hell No.  After six years of research, of all the “natural” cures on the internet I can vouch for three.  Get that? Three. They are:
  • Lavender essential oil works for minor burns. It immediately takes the pain out of burns from bacon grease splatters, and it even worked when I hit my knuckle on the oven element last week.  I will always have a bottle in the kitchen cabinet.  Take that for what it’s worth.
  • Heartburn cure: 1 Tablespoon Apple Cider Vinegar and 1 teaspoon honey diluted with about half a cup of water. Chug it, shoot it, whatever you wanna call getting it down the guzzler. It is the only thing that has ever worked on me, and it cures in less than ten minutes.  Granted, I’ve only had heartburn four times in my life, but OHMYGOSH I would cut out my esophagus to alleviate that pain!  This worked every time, and it will forever be my remedy.
  • Allergy cure: take the heartburn remedy and add ¼ teaspoon cinnamon and 1/8 teaspoon turmeric. I usually hit this three times a day when I’m sniffling. This works on me, my husband and my son when the seasonal pollen count threatens to take us down.  My daughter won’t go near it, so we may never know if it works on her.  She’s good with a box of Kleenex, so we shrug and move on.
  • BONUS cure: I don’t think this one is on the internet, maybe it is…I’ve never looked. My grandmother taught us this treatment for ant bites.  If you get attacked by ants, immediately grab handfuls of leaves from two totally different plants or trees (soft leaves work best) and pulverize them together in your hands. Rub – no, smear – them all over the ant bites until your skin is green from the chlorophyll.  This seems to take the sting out right away and keeps the pustules from forming. I’ve used this remedy for years.

So there they are, folks – the four natural, everyday remedies I am willing to vouch for after six years of research and practice. As far as food goes, I will always endorse clean eating as a means of staying well and being good to your body. You want to use whatever diet/method/lifestyle supports your best health, no matter what anyone else thinks of it. If there is anything I have learned in these six years, it is that change is hard, and each person has to decide for himself or herself how much change is worth it. My personal food choices are wildly unpopular, but they work for me and I feel good physically when I stick to those choices.

CONFESSIONS:

• While my best health is promoted by a grain-free lifestyle, my home is not grain-free. It’s not even totally organic.  My dogs eat grain-free.  My kids do not.
• My kids eat Reese’s Puffs. Yes, you read that right. I actually put in my grocery cart multiple boxes of full-on General Mills, GMO, gag-me-with-a-cereal-spoon Reese’s Freakin’ Puffs. Why? Because it makes them happy. They know my opinions and ideals, and they share some but not all of them.  Once they became teenagers, I felt like they had the right to make that choice. So if they want canned ravioli or Pizza Rolls or Kraft Mac & Cheese, by George, they’re gonna have it.  I pick my battles.
• I love to be in the sun, but I don’t use sunscreen unless I’m swimming. Judge away, just don’t tell me about it. I have my reasons for not listening.
• I have loved my readers’ comments, especially when they tell me that I helped them consider a new view or that they found parental support on my blog. I felt like my presence here was helping someone, and that made me feel good. I owe gratitude to everyone who ever bothered to read my words and write me back.
• I have considered ditching my Facebook account altogether because my newsfeed is full of aggravating articles from activist organizations that I once “liked.” I need to take my own advice and just flip those organizations the bird, but even that task seems like an energy drain.
• I texted my husband yesterday before I left work and told him that I wanted chocolate and wine. Like, for dinner. I was serious.  And I got them.

It’s been a pleasure to share this journey with you, my friends, but it’s time to close this chapter of my internet life.  I wish you health and peace, always.

Love, Lori

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The Vaulted Files: The Fine Line

 

(I am finding a lot of crazy stuff in the vault, which duly represents the crazy in my head.  Much like the saying goes for blowing your nose: “Better out than in.” LOL.  Enjoy…)

I am an absolutist.  (Is that a word?  I should have looked that up first…sorry.)  I would normally say I’m an extremist, but my understanding of extremism is that it breeds intolerance for other people’s decisions, and that just doesn’t sound like something I want to be.  For instance, I believe that certified artificial food colorings are absolutely bad for us.  So I spend three times as much money on Unjunked m&m’s for my kids’ candy treats.  That’s my absolutism.  If I were an extremist, I imagine I would storm the middle school and demand that they stop selling Skittles to innocent kids.  And then my son would die of embarrassment because his mom is the crazy lady who attacked the concession table.  So I just prefer to work in absolutes.  And here’s how I came to this conclusion:

I was thinking about this the other day, feeling like I was sitting far-out on a hippie limb all by myself, wondering why we as a society even allow poisons in our foods, much less voluntarily consume them.  One thought led to another and the next thing I knew, I had planned out the next two decades.  The odds of my children finding and falling in love with others who had been raised on grass-fed beef, organic veggies and homemade bread are slim to none.  And then I started thinking that my poor grandchildren (God willing I ever have any) will face all the health problems that I’ve tried to prevent in my own children, simply because my daughter- or son-in-law would have contributed the wonky chromosomes tainted by Big-Ag and corporate America, all because his or her mother didn’t give two hoots about Roundup-resistant wheat and soybeans.  And then I’m quite technically back where I started.

So then I thought how nice it would be to have a huge commune for those of us who want to live away from the oppression of our corporate food supply. We could farm together, raise happy chickens and cows, and control everything we consumed.  We would be untainted by the outside world.

There are just two problems with this idea:  1) I’m not, and have no desire to be, Amish; and 2) no matter how good our intentions at the beginning, eventually we would all find some Kool-Aid to share.

So, no, this idea of segregating ourselves from modern society will never work.  And I wouldn’t want it to, really.  My rules can really only be imposed on me (and my kids for the time being), and that’s okay.  So I’ll just hang on to my absolutes and do what I can to make the world a better place in my little corner of it.

Unjunked candy, anyone?

Why No Wheat?

Tags

diabetes, glycemic index, Grain Brain, no grains, paleo, pre-diabetic, wheat, Wheat Belly

I had the “wheat-free” conversation with two friends recently, which prompted me to write this post.  Over the course of the last year and a half whenever I tell someone that I try to follow the Paleo lifestyle for eating, they always ask why I don’t eat grains.  I suppose sugar is a no-brainer for most people, as it was for me, but I didn’t always have a ready answer on the grain part.  I had only vague “grains are anti-nutrients” statements that I could not support with any memorable scientific notes.  Not being one to try to force people to my way of thinking, I’d shrug and let it go.  What’s right for me isn’t necessarily right for someone else.  Hadn’t I learned that already in my own household?

Last autumn when my husband was diagnosed as being pre-diabetic I read through the literature his doctor sent home with him.  It recommended low-fat foods, fruits, vegetables and lots of whole grains.  Ugh.  But I nearly lost it when the literature encouraged diet soft drinks and sugar-free candy.  ENCOURAGED!!!   I read the absurdities out loud and then tossed the literature across the table.

“Will you help me eat right?” my husband asked.

“I don’t agree with that crap,” I said, pointing to the literature endorsed by the American Diabetes Association. “I can’t even explain to you exactly why I don’t agree with it, but I can’t stomach the idea of medical professionals telling people whole grains and Aspartame are good for you.”

“Then we’ll throw those papers away.  Will you help me eat right?” he asked again.

How could I say no?  He was placing more trust in me than in his doctor, and I wasn’t about to let him down.  I jumped back on my Paleo bandwagon with both feet.  Dom immediately cut out grains and sugars.  His blood sugar, which we tested daily, normalized at once and over the course of the next three months he lost 20 pounds.  Even better than those awesome health benefits, we were enjoying cooking dinner together almost every night and sharing lunch at home during the workdays.  I decided to make it my mission to find out why this grain-free life was treating us so kindly.

Two of the books I have read in my quest are Grain Brain and Wheat Belly, both written by physicians and chock-full of science.  Admittedly, I sometimes found myself zoning out from all the scientific references, but two things caught my attention and held it: 1) Both doctors referenced cases of various illness and disorders which other doctors could not specifically diagnose – all alleviated with the elimination of grain from the diet; and 2) the scientific trials referenced in both books included tens of thousands of individuals – large scale research.  Conversely, I overheard our local news recently touting a health study in which 200 individuals participated.  Wow…a whole 200 people?  Please.

Even though I had already given up wheat and other grains, these books reinforced my resolve to avoid them.  Some basic facts that strengthened my understanding are:

• It’s not my great-great-grandmother’s wheat.  The wheat we eat today has been so genetically modified in order to produce larger crops and greater profitability that it no longer resembles the wheat of our ancestors, and it wreaks havoc on the body in ways that ancient grains simply did not.
• The inclusion of grains as the basis of our food pyramid (not to mention the sheer proportion of grains compared to other foods in our “recommended daily nutrition”) is not based on any scientific evidence.  It was pretty much decided by a group of politicians in the 70’s (who were likely trying to support corporate agriculture) and simply never challenged.
• Genetically engineered wheat (roughly 99% of all wheat world-wide) can not survive in a natural environment.  Originally created to produce higher yields in an effort to offset world hunger, these grains were propelled into our food supply without any studies on their health effects.
• From a blood glucose standpoint, a slice of whole wheat bread whacks out your blood sugar more than a Snickers bar.  (NOT that I am advocating you dine on Snickers!)  To be precise, a Snickers bar has a glycemic index (GI) of 49.  A slice of whole wheat bread has an average GI of 71.  This information alone makes me furious that the ADA literature I referred to earlier actually promoted wheat products and whole grains for people wanting to manage diabetes.  I guess I should just be happy that they didn’t advise we have a Snickers bar with our diet soda.

I looked at the American Diabetes Association’s website explanation of GI on various foods.  They list the GI of a piece of whole wheat bread as “medium GI (56-69)” while stating white bread has a “high GI (70+).” Conversely, according to the Harvard Medical School, whole wheat bread averages a GI of 71, the very same as white bread.  Surprising to most, a “healthy” bowl of instant oatmeal averages a GI of 83.  I looked extensively at various groups’ food GI charts and came to my own conclusion:  given the extensive varieties of food products available to us in the stores, the data pretty much can be expressed in any light to support any claim.  But I have to marvel at the fact that a whopping 79 million people in the U.S. are “pre-diabetic.”  From my standpoint, it’s easy to see why.

Okay, so I gave up bread (and oatmeal and crackers and cereal and donuts and… you get the picture).  Wanna know what else I gave up?  My ever-growing list includes joint pain, cramps, blemishes and skin oddities.  Dom gave up antacids entirely.  Just a little slip (which we made on two separate weekends) brings back symptoms we would have otherwise ignored in our former selves.  So many health inconveniences were just accepted as a part of life and aging.  But the elimination of wheat (and likely sugar too) has proven that life and aging can be so much better than we had been trained to accept!

So, what do I eat?  Well, lots of eggs, uncured meats, cheeses, whole milk (I’m “paleo plus dairy” 🙂 ) fruits, nuts and vegetables.  We drink red wine with dinner.  No sugars, no starches.  I rely on sweet potatoes for an indulgent carb boost and paleo “treats” for my occasional sweet tooth.  (See Living Healthy with Chocolate and PaleOMG for some awesome treat recipes!)  I don’t worry about calories, fat or cholesterol for many of the reasons cited in the two books referenced above.

And no, quitting wheat cold-turkey was not super-easy.  I actually did it three times before it stuck.  This last time, with Dominic’s health at stake and armed with much more information, I walked away from wheat and didn’t look back.  But I know how hard it can be… after all, I made an Italian give up pasta.

I’m no doctor and I don’t pretend to be.  I don’t know your personal situation and cannot guarantee any results for anyone, including myself.  But if you’re dealing with an ailment no one can identify, or you’re simply just wishing you could feel better, try eliminating wheat and grain from your diet.  Give it four weeks and see how you feel.  It may work for you; it may not.  I’m betting that it will.

I found a quote on Facebook the other day that stated, “Every time you eat or drink, you are either feeding disease or fighting it.”  (Credit: Heather Morgan, MS, NLC.)  I have learned that I’m a fighter.  How ’bout you?

I wish you health and peace.

Here But There

Tags

paleo, Recipes

Sorry for being  MIA again.  I haven’t been able to complete a blog post for what, four months now? I’ll start one and then it just sort of fizzles.  I think I have writer’s block.  It’s showing up in other areas of my life, too.  Time to banish the demons.  😉  I once read that a blogger should post something every day, even if it’s crap writing.  I just can’t make you suffer through EVERYTHING in my head, so I (obviously) haven’t subscribed to that idea.  Maybe I should.  Be warned.  (Footnote: after finishing this post and re-reading it, I think I’m already testing the theory. My apologies.)

The Hubster and I are back on the Paleo Wagon in a much more committed way.  It’s been pretty easy this time around, and we are already feeling better as a result.  Hubs is dropping pounds and I can already tell that food is in control of that crappy pain in my right elbow.  My pantry is shaping up nicely and I have found several new blogs to stalk.  Not all of the blogs are strictly paleo/primal, though many are.  I likely will not turn PDM into a paleo blog, but I just have to share some of the awesome sites I have been stalking.  Check ‘em out:

PaleoHacks  I just registered for PaleoCon, a free week-long e-seminar that starts Monday.  Paleo pros will share information, research, exercise and recipes.   Eeep!!  As I read up on PaleoCon, I noted that one of the speakers, John Durant, reminded me an awful lot of the mainstream media image of Jesus.  And then I saw that his topic in the conference is about (roughly interpreted by me) the biblical aspects of paleo.  Too funny!!  Bring it on, John!

Crackers on the Couch I found and fell in love with Brooke’s recipe for mushroom broth, which we now cannot live without. 

Edible Harmony  Denise rocks some “real food” recipes!!  Shortly after I canned an army’s supply of sugary pumpkin butter, I found her paleo pumpkin butter recipe. 

Paleo Spirit  On her “About” page, Lea states, “When I realized that ‘Paleo’ could mean much more than just diet and exercise, I was hooked. I embrace the ideal of pursuing health and fulfillment through simple, time-tested strategies and apply them to my life as a woman, a wife, a mother, and a Christian.”  I heart her.

Crazy Sexy Wellness  Kris is a ten-year Stage 4 cancer survivor with a wealth of knowledge and experience.  She has some great whole-food for your whole-life stuff on her blog. 

PaleOMG  Juli calls it food porn.  It is.  Seriously, as my friend Kim says, Oh-Em-to the double-Gee!!  This is usually the first place I go when I’m brave enough to try something new.  Or when I want sweet cheats.

Paleo Cupboard If you’re in the mood for Cajun Shrimp and Grits, give this a try!  After a stressful week of questionable eating, this was the first meal that actually satisfied me.  That shrimp spice recipe?  Ohhhhhhh yyyyyyeaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. 

Everyday Paleo  Sarah was one of the first paleo bloggers I started following, way back when my quest for natural sun tolerance led me to try paleo.  And since we are tamale lovers, I cannot wait to try her brother’s paleo tamale recipe. 

Multiply Delicious is home to my favorite herb cracker recipe. 

Elaina at The Rising Spoon saved me several dead presidents this fall with her pumpkin pie spice recipe.  She’s also trying to get me to put butter in my coffee.  Hmmmmmmm…

So there you have it… a smattering of the places I’ve been hanging out lately.  You should visit them too.  I’m sure you’ll find something you like!

Late night edit to today’s post: I was browsing the Paleo Digest on my new computer (found in the Microsoft Store for Windows 8 – love it but don’t know much about it…anyhoo) when I stumbled upon a site I am going to haunt for the long term…Living Healthy With Chocolate.  Basically, imagine something you like with chocolate in it, and I’m pretty sure Adriana has already made it Paleo!  Magnifico!!!!!

 

How Healthy Living Impacts Hearing

Tags

healthy living, Hearing

I’m thrilled to have been approached again with a guest post! John O’Connor writes about speech and hearing issues, and he shares information on how living a healthy lifestyle can benefit our auditory systems. I have to admit that I never considered how hearing ties in with all the positive changes we have implemented in our lives, but it makes complete sense! Check out John’s post here, and then check out his website where he recently started blogging and offering advice for sustaining our hearing health. (You can bet I’ll be cranking up the Vitamin C and turning down the ear buds a notch now!)

——

Your ears are designed to pick up sounds, processing them and send them to your brain to help you hear clearly. When any part of your ears are not working properly, your ability to hear can be adversely affected. Living a healthy lifestyle is an integral part of keeping your hearing healthy.

Eating a healthy diet is essential to maintaining good health. Nutritious foods keep our bodies strong and vital, which is important to warding off viruses and infections that can cause hearing loss. Ear infections often occur when we become sick with a cold or the flu. Untreated allergies can also cause ear infections to develop. People who eat a diet rich in complex carbohydrates, lean protein, healthy fats and dairy products are less likely to become sick with ear infections. Chronic or untreated ear infections can cause hearing loss in children and adults. Taking vitamin supplements such as vitamin C, may also prevent infections. Babies infected with cytomegalovirus or CMV, often have hearing loss. Infection occurs before birth, while babies are still in the womb. The Center For Disease Control states for every baby born with CMV, 1 in 5 will suffer serious hearing loss, total deafness or other disabilities. Pregnant women who eat healthy foods, exercise and receive proper obstetric care are less likely to have babies infected with this serious disease.

You can take other steps to keep your hearing healthy. Keep your ears free of excess earwax, as this can lead to hearing difficulties. Avoid cleaning your ears with cotton swabs, as this can lead to ear infections that could damage your ears. Avoid listening to loud music, especially when wearing headphones. Repeated exposure to loud noises can lead to hearing problems later in life. If you enjoy shooting sports or hunting, wear earplugs to protect your ears.

If you have difficulty hearing or are concerned about hearing loss, consult your doctor for a hearing screening test. These tests will provide accurate results that may help your doctor diagnose your hearing problem. If you have hearing loss, there are many devices available today that can help restore your hearing. Devices such as hearing aids and cochlear implants help many people who suffer from hearing loss.

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Thanks, John, for bringing this issue to my blog. 🙂

Rites of Passage and Rules of the Road

Tags

beauty, cosmetics, girls and makeup

I came home one day last week to a slightly made-up version of my 10-year old daughter: a little eye shadow, some mascara and lip gloss.   Mom had prepared me that Vic was asking to “practice” with some cosmetics and had been provided with her own sampling of some Grandmama-approved colors.  Mom knew that I would have no problem with the quality of the cosmetics because we both buy our beauty products from the same place.  (That would be from Lisa at Style Essentials, for those of you who might be curious.  We love her!)  I asked Mom over the phone if Vic’s friends were wearing makeup already.  She replied, “Apparently, there’s been talk of it.”

Ohhhh, great.

I admit I get a tad squeamish when I see little girls with their faces made up.  I try not to go all judgemeister on the moms; I know we all pick our battles.  But two things instantly blaze through my mind when I see pre-teens wearing makeup reminiscent of 80’s glam rock:  1) what ungodly chemicals are seeping into that baby’s face? And 2) what message are we giving our daughters?  Do we really have to wear makeup to be “pretty?”  Is “being pretty” all that it’s cracked up to be?  Is it the be-all/end-all of womanhood?

While I want my daughter to answer “NO!” to each of those questions, I admit that I rarely (if ever) leave the house without at least a hint of powder and mascara.  I don’t walk into a store wearing my pajamas and sporting bed-head; a little makeup, to me, is as important as getting dressed and combing my hair.  At some point, the line is crossed from showing respect for ourselves to drawing attention to ourselves.  I’d like for my child to keep it all in perspective.

I hope to teach my daughter that beauty is on the inside.  It’s what you see with the heart, not with the eyes.  Beauty is who you are when you think no one is looking.  Women will always be their own worst critics; I know I am.  Ultimately, who my daughter is on the inside is far more important to me than how she looks on the outside.  As she matures, nothing would please me more than for her to hold the same values.

But, I put all my worrying to the side for the moment and focus on the rules of makeup with her.  I have a few. (You knew I would.)

Makeup Rule #1: Makeup should not look like makeup.  If I can see it before I see you, it’s too much.

Makeup Rule #2: If you put it on your face, you must take it off before bedtime.  Skin care is of utmost importance.  No sleeping in makeup, no matter how natural the product is.

Makeup Rule #3: You do not share makeup with other people.  Ever.  (Ewww.)  In fact, I hereby invoke my Mom Authority to limit the sharing of personal items to tee-shirts and shoes, even though the shoe thing is still against my better judgment.

Makeup Rule #4: I will approve and buy the makeup.   There is no need for you to ever even entertain the notion of putting mainstream, chemical-laden cosmetics on your skin.

Makeup Rule #5: You will read the ingredient labels.  You will become familiar with and knowledgeable about what you are putting on your skin.  Then, at the very least, when you go off the rails in college and sport CoverGirl to your heart’s content, you can’t use ignorance as a defense.  In other words, Mama’s not gonna raise no fool.

For now, Vic’s experience with cosmetics will be limited to learning how to use a few select things (pale shadow and lip gloss, cleansers and moisturizers).  I began wearing makeup in middle school at age 12; my baby girl will be there next year at age 11.  I’m not ready for her to be glammed out by next August, so we will navigate these waters slowly, carefully and together.

She is, after all, the reason I know all this stuff in the first place.

We Didn’t Start the Fire

Tags

billy joel, history, lyrics homeschooling

We were driving down the interstate the other day, singing along to Billy Joel on my car stereo.  I don’t sing well – AT ALL – but it doesn’t stop me from belting out my faves whenever I have the chance.  “Find some noise-cancelling headphones if ya don’t like it!” is what I tell my kids when they hear me crooning and give me the look that begs me to keep my musical appreciation to myself.

Usually our musical conversations enlighten them and I love giving them the scoop on everything from Bon Jovi and Alice Cooper to 8-tracks and marching bands.  It also assures them that I’m either rockin’ smart, or certifiably crazy.

Some days it’s just a coin toss.

So, anyhoo, as I’m belting out the fast-paced lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire and playing that video in my head of me and Dom singing this song at the top of our lungs in the back of Mama Mia’s (who remembers those days?!) it occurred to me that I not only wanted to share with my kids all the memories I have of this music, but also what the music means.

This one just happens to be a history book set to a drum beat.

So this is my version of homeschooling:  I told the kids that we are going to dissect this song.  Item by item, I want them to research the topics mentioned and learn about why they are/were known by name and what historical significance they held that has earned them a spot in the lyrics of this tune.  I plan to chime in heavily with my personal memories of these events.  But I have a feeling I’ll learn almost as much as they will.

Excuse me, please, while I crank the volume up to 10. 😉

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray,
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio,
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe,

Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, “The King and I” and “The Catcher in the Rye”
Eisenhower, vaccine, England’s got a new queen,
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye 

[Chorus:]
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it 

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc,
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, dacron,
Dien Bien Phu falls, “Rock Around the Clock”

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team,
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland,
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev,
Princess Grace, “Peyton Place”, trouble in the Suez

[Chorus]

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac,
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, “Bridge on the River Kwai”
Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball,
Starkweather, homicide, children of thalidomide,

Buddy Holly, “Ben Hur”, space monkey, Mafia,
Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go,
U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy,
Chubby Checker, “Psycho”, Belgians in the Congo,

 [Chorus]

 Hemingway, Eichmann, “Stranger in a Strange Land”
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion,
“Lawrence of Arabia”, British Beatlemania,
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson,

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex,
JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say?

[Chorus]

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again,
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock,
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline,
Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan,

“Wheel of Fortune”, Sally Ride, heavy metal suicide,
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz,
Hypodermics on the shores, China’s under martial law,
Rock and roller cola wars, I can’t take it anymore

[Chorus]
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on

Makes ya wanna go buy a Billy Joel CD, doesn’t it? 😉
We Didn’t Start the Fire, from the album Storm Front by Billy Joel.  Lyrics obtained and copied from MetroLyrics.com 

Helloooo, July! It’s Sooooooo Good to See You!

Greetings from the road to recovery!  We have actual, reportable progress on so many of my most stressful issues that I just gotta share…

First, I am finally healed from my first tumble.  The doc determined that I did not fracture my elbow and he downgraded me to a sprain, which made me very happy.  Unfortunately, that news was not even twelve hours old when I fell AGAIN right at three weeks ago.  Despite bruised ribs, a gashed up knee and a face that made me look like a volunteer punching bag, I am finally healing – again.  Only in the last week have I actually felt like myself.  I accomplished tasks at work (yay!), cooked dinner, and even did a little more packing.  Oh, and I managed to sneeze without feeling like my ribs would be blown to the four corners of the earth.  For the win, right?

Next, while I was laid up in bed whining over my wounds and snorting Lortab (not really…well, maybe…) we got an offer on our house.  Which, of course, we accepted.   Which means we sold our house.  Which means that we have to get ready to get the hell out of Dodge…for real now.  Aaaaaaaaand, we closed on our construction loan and broke ground on the new house.  Next we move in with my parents.  (And their world will never be the same…)

On the Food Front, I have to thank you all for your support and wonderful comments with regard to me changing our diets for Aaron’s benefit.  It has not been an easy change, and we have had several nights that tried everyone’s patience at the dinner table.  But Aaron is a trooper, and even though he abhorred many of the things we made him try he DID try them, and even found some new things that he likes.  I had to throw in one or two cheat days to keep everyone sane and chugging along with me, but that one night of sundaes and DQ Blizzards was worth the tummy aches we all had the next day, if for nothing more than strengthening our morale (as well as our resolve!)  We are tweaking Paleo to work for us, and in the end I think that we will each have a better ability to make proper decisions about our own nutrition.  The kids have really embraced all this change better than I imagined they would, and I am so grateful to have such earnest learners, even when they are begging me relentlessly for Southern Maid donuts.

Finally, I think the biggest change is once again happening within me.  I’ve learned that falling down is easy (too easy, thankyouverymuch!) but getting up is where you grow and learn.  I learned am learning to slow down – to not rush through these days of change and uncertainty, but rather to embrace them and try to appreciate something different about each day.  Last week as I walked across the parking lot, realizing that it feels so damn good to be “me” again, I found myself hurrying.  And then I realized that hurrying is exactly how I got injured in the first place.  I will make a conscious effort to slow down, physically and mentally.  Because as stressful as I know these days ahead may be, I don’t want to miss a single thing about these events and the opportunity to see my family through them safely.

Mama Drama and a Month of Mammoth Change

I will spend this post sharing more than I am comfortable sharing, and half of you will start the reading thinking that I am crazy or cruel, or both.  By the time I’m done, the weights will have shifted and the other half of you will be convinced that I’m crazy or cruel, or both.  This is not a post in which many of you are going to applaud my maternal actions.  Just know that I’m okay with that.

Also know that before I published this post, I let my son read it, and I got his express permission to share his story.

Oh, and this is a really long post, by the way.  Consider yourself warned. 😉

I had a single recurring nightmare when I was pregnant with Aaron, my firstborn.  I would dream that I had birthed the baby and come home with him.  Like, days ago.  Suddenly I would realize that I had not yet fed the baby.  And I would PANIC because I had no idea if he was going to survive since we had been home ten days or so and he had not been fed even once.  I would wake up in a sweat, grateful that I was still pregnant and had not yet earned jail time as a new mother.  I bet I had that dream six or so times during the pregnancy.  It freaked me out every. single. time.

Contrary to my nightmare, Aaron ate well as an infant and a toddler.  It wasn’t until he turned two and was off of “baby foods” that he started refusing normal table food.  He drank milk.  Lots and lots of milk.  The dream was haunting me.  So I did what any regular, worried, American mom would do: I talked to my pediatrician.

Here’s my disclaimer:  I really, really love my pediatrician.  I do.  I think he is the most gentle and good-hearted man.  When my children are sick and I can’t cure them, he is the only person I want to see.  I wish, though, that I had already come to the realization that physicians are not demi-gods, and that they are not necessarily smarter than I am about me and my children – they just went to school longer and paid more tuition and can explain things about the human body that I cannot.  But that’s about it.  I still respect doctors and I mean none of them any slight.  But now I listen to my own instincts first.  Now, I think Conventional Wisdom may not be so wise.  However, in 2002, I did not have this presence of mind.  I took a doctor’s words as gospel.

My dear pediatrician explained to me that Aaron was getting practically all the nutrients he needed from the milk, and what was not in the milk, I could add as supplement via the miracle of (drum roll, please) Ovaltine.

And that, my friends, is how I addicted my son to a liquid diet of chocolate milk.

Aside from Bob the Builder fruit chews (which would not be allowed in my grocery cart today, much less my home) Aaron subsisted on Ovaltine and milk.  And since the doc said that was all good, by golly who was I to question it?

Ten years later, I can say I really wish I had ignored my pediatrician.

I wish that I had instead listened to people like my dad who said, “The boy’s not gonna starve! Put the meat and veggies in front of him, tell him that’s dinner, and be done with it.”   I thought my dad was so extreme!!  (And now that I write this, I realize that’s twice I have ignored my father’s advice.  Regretted it both times.  Dammit!!)

When Aaron entered pre-school, the teachers told me that they were concerned because he flat would NOT eat lunch.  They asked what he ate at home.  By this time, our culinary tastes had expanded to include the all-holy Cheerio.  The teachers suggested that I pack the cheerios in his lunchbox and they would make sure he was eating.  For the rest of the year, I packed him cheerios and milk for lunch at school.  He ate the same for dinner at home.  We eventually expanded to PB&J sandwiches when he entered kindergarten.  And puffy cheetos.  Woo hoo!  With five items on our son’s menu, we were making progress!!

All the while, our toddler daughter was eating everything Dom and I ate – up to and including crawfish etouffee.  A teacher at my children’s school approached me one day and said, “You have night and day at your house, don’t you?” noting the unmistakable personality differences between my offspring, who otherwise look like twins.  I dropped my shoulders and replied, “Ohhhhhhh, you have no idea!!”

For the next five years, Aaron continued to eat Cheerios and PB&J sandwiches.  He outgrew the Ovaltine, going on a multi-year self-imposed hiatus from chocolate.  (Is he really my son?!!) We flavored the milk with Strawberry Quik.  (Yes, really.  I gag just thinking about it!) Sugar, grains and milk were his steady diet.  We managed to work in plain pasta, and he preferred the whole wheat versions, to my immense satisfaction. And somewhere in the middle of all of this, he fell in love with Whataburger chicken strips.  Other chicken strips get snubbed; Whataburger’s chicken apparently rocks.

During this time we also had a few trips to the pediatrician for tummy troubles.  He was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and we were told to add Benefiber to his milk and not worry that he only consumed pale-brown and white foods.  The symptoms came and went, the Benefiber brought hit-or-miss results, but for the most part he seemed to do okay.  He was growing, after all, and aside from random tummy issues wasn’t ever sick, so what did I really have to worry about??

But then in 2010, I went down the rabbit hole and dragged everyone with me.  It has taken two years to secure foods and snacks that are “Lori-approved.”  Ingredient lists have to be practically virginal before I will buy a food.  Allowing no petrochemicals or partially-hydrogenated oils in my pantry meant many of my kids’ favorite cereals and snacks got the boot.  Cheerios remained, for their lack of the preservative BHT (where other cereals failed us).  Only a few brands of bread survived my inquisition, and as you know I started baking much of my own.

I considered bread to be foundational not only on my dinner plate, but in life around me.  I naturally therefore considered grains to be wholesome, pure and body beneficial.  “Living on Cheerios, crackers and bread is not completely awful,” I would protest.  “At least he gets plenty of fiber!”

This is the point where many of you have already been shaking your head, and you are now chastising me because I feed my child such poorly chosen foods.  No veggies, no greens.  Chicken, of all animals, and not even the eggs!!  Yes, I have heard it all before… “make him eat different foods.  He won’t starve!  You have to force it on him.  Be strong!”  Folks, I tried.  I got all mean and big and bad and threatened to not let him leave the table until he had tried whatever I had cooked.  You know where that put us?  Back at the doctor’s office with chronic upset stomachs (“brought on by stress”) where I was told his dietary preference was simply not that big a deal.  I clung to that and convinced myself that he was going to be just fine, despite all the personal stories I knew of people who had lived on a similar diet and suffered digestive distress as adults.

My choices have never been perfect.  They never will be.  I am still learning.  I am still reading…a lot.  And I am still making changes that affect my whole family.  We are still in the rabbit hole; we just found another tunnel within it.

I’ve been talking to my kids about the things that we don’t need to eat, a list which has very recently expanded to include grains, sugars and starches – the very basis of the foods they love.  Dom and I have switched to a new food lifestyle where we eat primarily meats and veggies.  I say primarily because I still incorporate fruit, coffee and occasional wine into the lifestyle.  And a tiny bit of soft cheese and bittersweet dark chocolate.  (If I ever give those things up I will be totally surprised.)  But here’s where most of you will revolt…I’m making my kids do it too.  My kids who eat sandwiches, cereal and everything sugary are about to go paleo with us.  Oh-Em-to-the-double-Gee, right?

I realize you can’t quite agree with me yet because you have not yet wrapped your mind around why in the heck I would promote and follow something so quirky.  So I will explain…

In my reading and research I have learned that our bodies are not really meant to digest grains and use them for the body’s benefit.  Go figure.  If you have seen Food, Inc, think of the grain-fed cows and the vet/scientist guy who was explaining that cows are not meant to digest grains, so when factory farms feed them grains instead of grass, their digestive systems get all whacked out.  Their bodies still function, but not as efficiently, and certainly not as they are meant to.  This is one of the many reasons to buy grass-fed beef.  It’s better for the animal’s health, better for the quality of meat, and that in turn is better for the person eating it.

In my opinion, the same principle works for humans.  Our bodies were not meant to digest grains because, as Mark explains so well on Mark’s Daily Apple, grains are meant to be planted.  Grain’s natural defense when eaten is to pass right on through so that it can eventually land in fertile soil and grow.  So on its way through our body, it wreaks havoc on our digestive system, leaving virtually no nutritional value in its wake, filling us only with cheap and empty calories.  We cope and we medicate and we deal with all the symptoms that our minds don’t automatically connect to our consumption of things like dinner rolls and oatmeal, but there we are anyway with aches and pains, reflux and gastrointestinal issues.   (These are not to all be totally blamed on grains, by the way.  That’s why we avoid sugars, dairy and starches as well.)

An overwhelming number of Mark’s readers chimed in with testimony to their own health benefits after giving up grains.  All I could think of was my son, destined for a life of tummy troubles if I did not intervene.  Suddenly every doubt and wonder that had crossed my mind over the last decade – What if I’ve been doing it all wrong? What if I don’t listen to the doctor? – came crashing back down on me as escapees from their prison of my own insecurity and self-doubt.  Every what if suddenly had an answer.  And the answer was: I’ve got to change it and I’ve got to change it NOW!!!

The gist of it is that I am taking away all the cereals, breads, pastas – GRAINS – from my children’s diets.  Dom and I have already removed them from our own food choices, so it’s not like I’m forcing something on my kids that I’m not willing to do myself.  They are not insanely giddy over the idea, don’t get me wrong.  But as I started this journey back in 2010 I shared with them everything that I learned and explained the reasons behind the changes I was making.  It is no different now.  I have shared the reasons and the potential benefits I expect to see.  If we do this for a month and the kids don’t notice positive changes in their own bodies, then I will concede to the food pyramid and take back all the nasty things I have said about grains and the FDA.  I can say that because I totally doubt it will come to pass.  My biggest battle will be the attitudes and the wills of my children.  But because I believe so strongly in their health, I will not be deterred until we have clear results – and answers that do not exist only in my head.

Ironically, you know who was freaking out the most when I told them of my plan?  Victoria. (I’m ruining EVERYTHING, you know!!)  Aaron, on the other hand, asked if he could try some scrambled eggs for the first time.  He said he wanted to eat better and feel better and, even though it was scary, he understood what I was doing.

I love that boy.  I love him so very, very much.

Decaf, Schmeecaf

When I tell you that I nearly titled this post, “What the Hell Was I Thinking?” you’ll know exactly where this is going.

So, yeah, I said I was ixnaying caffeine, right?  Would you think terribly less of me if I retracted the whole hair-brained idea???

I’ve been drinking decaf coffee for a month now.  I have also suffered with a month of bad hair days.  Coincidence?  Whatever.  It’s also coincidental that as soon as I returned to full-caf earlier this week my hair went back to being manageable.  But I also totally jacked the experiment by switching shampoos two days ago.  So was it the decaf or the shampoo or just my hair rebelling against 40?  Who knows?  Who really cares?  I gave decaf a fair and mighty shake, but in the end I decided there may be an undiscernable reason that decaf and I just aren’t meant to be together.

I’m no sharper for having switched, either.

I found a few minutes to discuss this with my dear friend Kim the other night while she stirred a pan full of corn.  “I read your post.  What’s all that about?” she asked.

“Oh, I think I’m gonna have to give that up.  Can a month of decaf make me have thirty bad hair days in a row?”

“Of course it can; Venus is in retrograde.  You’re just trying too much stuff.  You need to chill.”

It’s good advice, really.  There’s one thing I’ve learned in these two years of change.  If it’s a good change and worth holding on to, I’ll feel it.  There should be a positive benefit that I am able to recognize after a certain amount of time.  If I struggle with something for a month and experience no positive changes, then it’s quite possibly just not something I’m destined for.

This may be the fastest retraction I’ve ever made on this blog.  Coffee, anyone??