Wake Me When It’s Over

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loss, year in review

I usually write this annual post around the 26^th or 27^th of December, right between the buzz of Christmas gatherings and the fireworks of the new year.  But this year is different.  This year I don’t really feel like writing the post, and I’m not sure why.  Tradition, however, is kicking me in the butt right now and I am taking the hint.  So, on this last day of 2021 – and, in fact, in the final hour of the year –  I once again present our annual year in review.

As I looked through the photos of this past year, it should not have surprised me that a solid 75% of them were of our pets.  And maybe that’s why I wasn’t ready for this review. We lost two of those beloved pets this year, and even though the memories are sweet, the loss is recent enough that the pictures still sting just a little.  If only it were possible to truly capture their abundant personalities in photos so that you could understand how incredibly lucky we are to call these animals ours.  Such is the limitation of photography, I guess. Thankfully it is not the limitation of memory.

Without further adieu, let’s see what 2021 looked like from my camera roll. 

January

I came home at the end of a day to one of our smoke alarms beeping, alerting me to the need for a battery change.  No bigs, right?  Unless you’re Max.  He was so wigged out by the beeping that he bolted out of the door and right into the open back end of my vehicle where I was about to unload groceries.  Over the groceries, over the back seat and into the front seat this 90 pound fur factory clumsily climbed through my car in an effort to escape the soundtrack of his nightmares.  It took me roughly twenty minutes to get him out of my car, and I have no shortage of videos of him considering the exit, turning in the seat, and repositioning himself, staring intently at me as if willing me to drive him as far away from this haunted house as possible. 

February

Ahhh, the snow days.  Max’s Husky soul was in absolute heaven!  Mabel spent most of her time outside yelling at Max while he frisked around in the snow.

March

Boo was our first cat experience.  He was Victoria’s cat who entered our lives in October of last year.  Boo spent most of his short life recovering from various illnesses at our home, and Max got to understand cats because of Boo, as did Dom and I.

April

Few things make us as happy as seeing cardinal families at our bird feeder.

May

As we laid Boo to rest, we prepared our flowerbed for future graves, knowing we would be adding to it sooner than we wanted to. St. Francis stands watch over our fur babies, illuminated at night by two solar spotlights. 

June

My parents celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary in relative quiet with me and Dom.  Through fifty years of promised love and restraint from wringing each other’s necks, they are my role models. I love you, Mom and Dad.

July

Once Victoria had cried enough tears for Boo, she got Socko, a male kitty who is a sweetheart of a snuggler.  Pepper (Aaron’s cat) hates him. Max isn’t sure if he should snuggle or run.  All I know is, this is the only kitty who hasn’t attacked my Christmas tree.  Rock on, little Sockster.

August

The hardest part of this year, by far – saying goodbye to a faithful companion just a month shy of her 13^th birthday. Mabel was Dom’s pup from the beginning, and losing her left a giant hole in our hearts.

September

September tried to sneak by unnoticed, but on the early morning of September 19^th, our outdoor kitchen was engulfed in flames. Max awoke us to the danger with his barking and potentially saved the entire house.  Damage was thankfully limited to the patio, and we are working toward restoration now. 

October

It only took me three years, but I finally made it to my bridge.  Thank you, Bella, for making sure all the pics were perfect. 

November

There is nothing Max loves more than when we stock or restack the wood racks.  They are his own personal toyboxes, as far as he is concerned.  He will always grab a log and haul off to chew it, perfectly content with his new treasure. 

December

Since Pepper, Aaron’s cat, has not yet had a photo in this year’s review, here she is under the tree sampling the presents. Pepper is a real sweetheart as long as no animal but Max is in the house. Let her even catch a whiff of Socko, though, and kitty has claws!

These past two years have just stunk, worldwide, and I don’t have the energy this year to laugh it off or make wisecracks about how ridiculous my worries were over the past twelve months.  It is my prayer for each of you that the next year is better than 2021 in every way, that you enjoy peace and health and happiness in ways you have not known.  I pray that 2022 will be infinitely better than the previous two years have been.  You deserve it.  We all do.

Peace to you, my friends. 

Good Riddance: The 2020 Farewell

Well, this has been a year none of us wants to repeat.  Illness, loss, suffering, isolation, confusion and death have forever marred this year in our hearts and minds.  We have grieved missed events, neglected milestones, and suspended family gatherings.  We have gone months without seeing people we care about – family members, church members, friends.  Some, we will never see again and our hearts break when we think of the year that took them from us. 

The scariest thing is that it’s not over yet.  One virus decimates our bodies while another decimates our nation.  One is thus far incurable; the other completely preventable.  I will say only one thing on the political front: Can we all please act our age and recognize that our personal opinions are not the only ones that exist?  I mean, really.  Don’t make me use my mom voice.   

But this post is not about the crap we’ve all experienced this year and the hardship that may still be to come.  This is about a look back on the weird and the wonky, the mysterious and the mundane, the little moments that I will want to remember when I am old and drooling into my jello.   

So, in keeping with tradition, although this one is several days late, I present the 9^th annual year in pictorial review.  Here’s how 2020 looked from the inside of my heart and home. 

January

This is the year I’ve tried to learn to paint instead of just winging it.  However, this picture is totally winged.  For over a year I had been mulling an image over in my head, trying to illustrate a combination of my Texas roots and my Louisiana upbringing.  This is the end result. It’s the first time something I’ve created has looked as good in reality as it did in my head.   

February

Continuing the painting theme, and because there are so few other pics to choose from this month, I finally filled my living room wall with something Dom likes.  The center tree pic is currently being re-created so that it will no longer look like a Kindergartener drew it.  Wish me luck. 

March

Dom and I were each sent from our respective employers to work at home during the state stay-at-home orders.  Dom took the home office for his workspace and I converted my craft room into my “office.”  I may have gotten the printer, but I dare say he got the nicer digs. 

April

Because when you’ve been quarantined for a month together, every day should end with a pristine Irish Coffee. 

May

The month Vic would have graduated (the actual ceremony was postponed until August).  She and Bella executed her Senior pictures instead. 

June

Just what everyone needs… a technological gadget harassing us into exercising.  I learned that Siri does not understand the reply, “Bite me.”

July

Here it is: the annual weirdo picture. I was slicing tomatoes to roast and this slice ended up looking like lips. Ha!

August

One evening on the way to dinner Dom said, “I want to stop into this dealership and look at a truck real quick.  It won’t take long.  I just want to look.”  Three hours later, we finally made it to dinner.  In his new truck. 

September

A rare picture of Max and Mabel together, sitting still and generally looking toward the camera.  Sweet puppies.   

October

Max is not supposed to beg at my table, but he does it anyway. Who can really resist that face?

November

A much scaled-down Thanksgiving gathering, just us and John and Kasie’s crew.  It was not the same without the usual crowd, but we made the best of it.  If you notice a new face in the pics, that’s Aaron’s girlfriend, Annie.  If you notice a new hairstyle, that’s Aaron.  Feel free to hum the theme song to Welcome Back Kotter.  We do it every time he comes home. 

December

Meet Boo, Victoria’s new kitten.  She got him in October, specifically wanting an orange kitten for free and VOILA! The Ruston dog shelter had two such kittens that they just HAD to get rid of (because, dogs…).  Halloween Kitty was not without his issues, and a sinus infection caused his forehead to burst, so he had to seek refuge with us and care from our regular vet.  By the way, Boo is no longer considered “free,” as evidenced by the “medicare” collection jar with his name on it that now has permanent residence on our kitchen counter. 

Looking back on all that this year has dealt us, I’d still like to raise a glass to the hardship we’ve faced, the strength we’ve discovered, and the promise of tomorrow.  I’m having a dry January, so my glass only has decaf tea in it.  I hope that doesn’t jinx anything. 

Happy New Year, everyone.  May 2021 be infinitely more palatable. 

Cousins, COVID, and the Class of 2020

My mom texted me this morning. Her phone had reminded her – a week early – of Victoria’s high school graduation ceremony that would have been held on May 16 at 9:00 AM.

That is, if the world hadn’t fallen apart.

That’s right – if we were pandemic-free, my baby girl would have graduated next weekend. I would have watched her walk across the stage right behind her cousin, Lucas.  I would have snapped a million pictures.  Seriously.  I would have totally drained my phone battery or my storage capacity, whichever proved to be the weaker link.  We would have left the ceremony and gathered with the entire family at our house, celebrating and laughing until the kids finally decided they had spent enough time with all us oldies and driven off in search of their friends.  Kasie and I would have uncorked a wine bottle and probably dusted off a photo album or two.  Oh, the photos!

We would have first turned to this page. The page appropriately titled “Yucas and Tortilla,” because that is what they called each other when they were toddlers. Cue the awwwwwwwww’s.

Yucas and Tortilla in the toybox – 2004

Born just six months apart, these two were so stinkin’ precious.  And trouble? Don’t even get me started! I mean, really.  Look at those faces.  (Although, I have to add one small caveat here… it was Lucas’s sister, Bella, with whom Vic spent the most time in “time-out” at Mimi’s.)

Trouble with a toy train – 2005

But days become months, months become years.   Kids grow up.  Moments get breathed into being, then reshape and reform until they blur into one strange memory on whose continuum we cannot determine exactly when the change occurred.  We miss the growth while it’s happening.  We miss the sprouting of the seed and the budding of the leaves.  We look around one day and we have a tree.  Or an adult.  Or two, as the case may be.

Growing, growing, GROWN! – June 2019

When we recognize the moment, when we see the pending end of an era that we honestly don’t want to end, we smile at the memories.  We swipe away a tear before it has a chance to ruin the day’s makeup.  And we pray that those trees have strong enough roots.

As my children grew, one of my dear friends told me that it may not always be the “firsts” that tug most at my heart; oftentimes, it will be the “lasts.” She was so right. This is my last baby.  Grown, even if not quite flown from the nest.  But I know it won’t be long. These photos make me sad and nostalgic, but they also make me immensely happy.  For our family, both tearjerkers exist here.  John and Kasie are experiencing their first child to graduate, and Dom and I are experiencing our last.  It is bittersweet, to be certain.  It is worth celebrating; it is worth writing; and it is even worth crying over. We are so madly proud of our babies, though it’s evident they aren’t babies anymore.

Marion C. Garretty is credited with saying, “A cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.”  I believe it.  I’ve witnessed it. I feel it when I look at these photos.  I am eternally grateful to my niece Bella for taking such great cap-n-gown pictures of these two. Her talent has made my heart smile.

To all the graduates of 2020, but especially to Lucas and Victoria, may every day be an adventure, may you love and live life to the fullest, may the sun shine always on you, and may the stars write your name.

I love you forever,

Mom / Aunt Lori

The Vaulted Files: Reflections on Advent (2010)

My latest project is recipe scrapbooks into which I am compiling recipes, photos and stories.  As I scrolled through my vault of writings in search of holiday themed essays, I came across this one from 2010. I think it was written as a way for me to reconcile my Catholicism with my love for Christmas decorations.  My kids, now on the brink of full-blown adulthood, are not as likely anymore to gather around the Advent wreath with me for prayers, or collect stars from the Advent calendar as we count down the days to Christmas Eve. But this narrative reminds me of all the joy that is still present in the season, even as my family scatters like dandelion seeds to fulfill the duties of our days.  Happy Advent, everyone. 

While the city is alive with Christmas decorations and as families are planning their gifts and activities and preparing their homes, we Catholics are reminded throughout the Advent season that it is not, in fact, Christmas just yet.  Sometimes, I attend Mass only to leave feeling guilty for having already put up my Christmas tree. Obviously, I need to work through these feelings.

I love the Christmas season, whether it is celebrated liturgically or secularly. I love it for the lights and decorations, for the magic and mystery.  I love the planning and preparing – both in my home and in my heart.    I am generally cheery and positive, but let’s face it – I am waaaaay more joyous during December.  I find that I smile more, I giggle more, and I am more generous with both my time and my treasure.

Every time I look at my office doorway and see the red stocking peeking in, I am reminded of the season’s magic.  I love the signs of the season, and I want to display them as early as possible because I love the feeling that I have during the holidays.

I know the season is not all about presents, shopping and Santa.  I know it is about celebrating the birth of Christ.  I love the liturgical significance of Advent in that it tells us to “prepare.”  I want my children to feel the Christmas spirit all year long, because the reason for Christmas is with us all year long.  I also want them to understand the liturgical significance, so we have an Advent calendar and an Advent wreath.  We say daily prayers during Advent, and we do our best to prepare room in our hearts and home for the Christ Child. Advent is a time to recollect and ready ourselves for Christ. I always thought that meant I had to chill on Christmas until December 24 and allow Advent in as a time to rest and wait.  But that’s virtually impossible for me to do.  I want Christmas, like all. the. time.

To me personally, Advent is about anticipation, not delaying. Preparing, not waiting. We should be busy now – preparation is not a passive thing. May each Advent – whether busy or restful – lead our hearts to the perfect Christmas.

2018: A Year of Love

As I reflect on the year that began with so much pain, I realize that love has been our constant companion both inside and outside of that pain. Love came to us in friends, and in the form of hugs and texts. It took the form of cards and covered casseroles, potted daisies and even a few corked bottles. It saw us through a year that was simultaneously sad, hard, maddening, bittersweet and joyful.

To paraphrase a few lines from a book I just finished reading, we are never entirely healed. We will be “a patchwork of love and grief, of gains and losses”.**  Even though it was an emotionally draining year, we saw through each other our ability to laugh and be happy. Lennon was right. Love really is all you need.

With a full heart I present the sixth annual pictorial recap of a year that was ultimately filled with love beyond measure.

January
After Pop died, we all needed a place to direct our grief. Tearing down his oldest and most decrepit shed provided our catharsis. This is the only pic I have of the day, taken after the shed had been razed to the ground. I wish I had a picture of the tug-of-war team that pulled it down. It truly felt like Family Olympics.

February
Goofing around at my parents’ house one weekend, my dad and Vic played Heart and Soul together on the organ. (Go on, sing a measure. For the entire rest of the day. You’re welcome.)

March
Baby Girl turned 16 and got her license. We haven’t seen her since. (Kidding…sort of).

April
A pic of my favorite men just before Aaron headed out to the Senior Prom.

May
This. Just… this.

June
Three days after we watched A Dog’s Purpose, a stray German Shepherd showed up at our house and wouldn’t leave. He looked neglected so we fed him, bathed him and named him Bailey. He’s a genuine sweetheart who lives with Charolette now, and Kasie and I believe he was sent by Pop. I just love big dogs with big paws.

July
My kiddos altar served at our church for nearly six years. As Aaron prepared to leave for college, Vic announced she didn’t want to serve without him. This was the last time they served at Mass.

August
Here’s the one WTH? picture. There’s always one. Breakfast time and one of our eggs had two yolks. Was this really the most exciting picture I took in August, you ask? Why, yes. Yes it was.

September
Labor Day weekend found us driving to Ruston to leave a huge part of our hearts at college. I cried the whole way home. Max didn’t take it too well, either, and spent the next ten days sulking in Aaron’s room.

October
Part of our first-ever trip to New York to see Harry Potter on Broadway (which deserves its own full-length post) was the fun I had making t-shirts for our Hogwarts-loving travel companions, customized with each person’s favorite quote. And of course, experiencing the magic of Broadway and the Big Apple with my favorite wizard.

November
Nothing like a wedding to remind us all that life is good, family is precious and true love is eternal. My oldest nephew, Jacob, and my newest niece, Cassidy:

December
Remember that family I told you about in my most recent post? The ones who make Christmas entirely magical? This is them.  I love these people to the moon and back!

Well, there it goes, folks. The credits are rolling on 2018. May your 2019 be blessed and may you find peace, love and joy in every single moment it holds for you.

Bonus pic from the NYC trip: I couldn’t resist. So long, 2018. See ya in the funny papers.

 

** Clare, Cassandra. Queen of Air and Darkness. New York: Margaret K. McElderry Books. 2018. Print.

The Vaulted Files: Christmas Wreath Storage Solution

Tags

Christmas decorations, holiday clutter, wreath storage

I originally wrote this in early 2014 before my unintended sabbatical from blogging here.  Back to work, now…

So, there I was, packing away all the Christmas décor after Epiphany this year when it dawned on me that I now had sixteen – no, make that seventeen – Christmas wreaths hung in and on my home. I have to admit, I choked a little on the thought of buying enough boxes in which to store them. Where were all the boxes going to go?

One of the things we lucked into when we built our house is a closet in the garage, where Dom decided all of our holiday décor could live. And it just so happens that there is a lot of tall wall space in this closet. I wanted hooks for my wreaths. But, really – seventeen of them?

And that’s when this idea sprang to life. Home Depot, or any home store, has the brackets that hold closet shelves and rods, right? You know – these things…

They cost under $4 each.  And voila! They also hold about three wreaths (four, if you don’t mind smushing them on there.) The hook part that would hold the rod holds one of the wreaths so you can make sure the others don’t come sliding off of the bracket. I bought about six of these and placed them strategically on my wall so the wreaths can hang in the closet and I never have to worry about their bows getting all wonky from storage.

Now, go… be free and hang your wreaths! 😉

 

Crazy from the Ashes

Today begins the liturgical season of Lent for many religious denominations.  In my Catholic household, dinner table talk centered last night around what each of us is willing to “give up” in observance of the sacrificial season.  Among the suggestions, my wisenheimer kids offered to release their hold on such things as “homework,” “messing up [my] room,” and even “Mabel!”

Har, har, har.

Finally…and I might have sort of, um, maybe, well, suggested it…it was decided that the males would give up donuts.   We make considerably frequent visits to Southern Maid, so it’s a pretty fair sacrifice.

Vic decided to give up talking on the house phone.  It will take half of Lent to spread the word to her friends, but, like the donuts, is ultimately worth it in my opinion.  Even if I get only one week at the end of Lent without the house phone ringing off the wall at hours well past my own children’s bedtime, it will be sooooo worth it.

And then came the magic question:  “Mom, what are you giving up for Lent?”  Ugh.  Here goes.  Once I verbalize this thought, there is no going back.  Should I? Do I dare utter it aloud?…

“Snoozing my alarm clock, and…oh dear…Starbucks.”

Shocked and horrified gasps echoed off of our freshly painted and still bare walls.  I know, right??

To be fair, at the start of the last three Lenten seasons I have considered this option, and casually convinced myself that sacrificing coffee (of all things!) was really not the point.  Unnecessary.  I mean, I don’t live at Starbucks, after all.  I’m there once, maybe twice, a week.  Okay, okay…sometimes three times a week.  (Sheesh!  Let it rest, will ya?)

And so, in light of this confession and the fact that this year I will focus on the sacrifice of something I really and truly enjoy rather than trying to avoid sacrificing by swearing that I’ll pull extra duty on some chore I detest, here goes.  The anchor is dropped.  I will buoy here in my Starbucks-barren waters for the next forty days.  Wish me luck.

Dear Lord, please please please let Starbucks be open on Easter Sunday.  Amen.  

Time Turner

I hope you remembered to set your clocks back last night.  I purposely did not.  It seems that I like morning time tricks.  I used to set my alarm 30 minutes early and then hit snooze the whole time, all for the privilege of knowing I was “sleeping in.”

Dom hated that.

This morning I awoke to a 7:56 display, grabbed my phone, and was elated to see that it was now only 6:56. A whole hour.  Stolen time.  Heaven.

Downstairs it is 8:00, and I am going about my business as if that is perfectly normal.  Making coffee, feeding the dogs, telling the kids to please turn down the TV so that I don’t have to hear SpongeBob on a Sunday morning.  I plan to steal the next hour to catch up on the things I tell myself I don’t have time to do, like reorganize my audiobooks.    When I am finished, I will walk to each clock in my home and magically reclaim my hour.  This is the one day a year where we are allowed the coveted “more than 24 hours in a day.”   Today we get 25.  For this reason alone I LOVE ending Daylight Saving Time.

How will you spend your extra hour?

Day 335: Happy Mothers’ Day

Today my Mom and I celebrate Mothers’ Day.  I know what you’re thinking…Mothers’ Day was last Sunday.  Well, for the rest of the world, it was.  For me and my Mom, it is today.

My Mom’s mom, my grandmother, passed away on the Tuesday after Mothers’ Day in 1996, just two weeks before my wedding.  We knew she was ill, and we knew she probably wouldn’t be able to make it to Louisiana for my wedding.  As Mom and I sat at the computer working up some idea for flowers, tulle, or some other “weddin’ nonsense,” my Aunt Linda called.  I heard Mom’s voice crack as she asked, “Oh, no, Linda, is she gone?”  The rest of her conversation is a blur to me, but I vividly remember that when she hung up the phone, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “This is Mother’s Day.”

It was May 14.

And so, not to be all sad and creepy or anything, Mom and I celebrate Mothers’ Day on the 14^th of May each year.  If it’s a weekday, I take off work so we can spend it together.  We usually go shopping or hang out and drink hot tea and watch some chic-flick she has DVR’d. We have only missed one day in 15 years – that was the day of a horrible flooding rain in Shreveport.  I called Mom that morning, upset at the thought of breaking our tradition because I had three inches of water in my garden room, and with even more rain coming down there was no end in sight.  I remember squalling, “I took off work to be with you and I can’t even get to you!!!”  We spent the day on the phone, between my bouts with the wet-vac and more towels than I cared to count.  😉

Unfortunately, today will be the second time in these fifteen years that we will not spend May 14^th together.  I teach the 2^nd grade First Communion class at my church, and 29 of those precious children are making their First Reconciliation this morning in preparation for First Communion tomorrow.  Essentially, duty calls, and luckily my Mom is incredibly understanding.  We have plans to hang out together later this week to make up for today.  We will shop and dream and chat…and enjoy the Cardinals that flit across our path. 

I love you bunches, Mom.

Me, my Grandmother and Mom 1974

Day 193: Goodbye, Advent – Hello, Christmas!

Tags

Advent calendar, Advent traditions, Advent wreath, Christmas breakfast, Christmas traditions

In the spirit of change, we started two new traditions this year:

1)      December 23 evening meal was held by candlelight alone.  “Caveman style,” as the kids called it.  We lit the Advent wreath, turned out all the other lights and feasted on spaghetti together.  Victoria pointed out that fire was the only kind of light Jesus had, too, so we were remembering his birth in a special way by not using any electricity to light our dining room.  Have I mentioned that Vic amazes me?

After dinner, we turned on all the interior Christmas lights, turned out the lamps, and watched It’s A Wonderful Life together.  This is a tradition usually reserved for me and Dom alone, but the kids have slowly grown into non-animated movies, and I figured it was time to bring them into the tradition.  Vic fell asleep before the movie was over, but Aaron got the full experience of George Bailey’s awakening. 

2)      Christmas Eve morning (today) we had a special breakfast together around the Advent wreath.  We made organic pancakes, and we were joined by Martin, our elf.  This breakfast was different from all others only in that it was not rushed, and I stayed at the table long after everyone else trickled away, reading the O Antiphons and humming O Come, Emmanuel to myself. 

We hung the Bethlehem Star on the Advent calendar to signify the holiest of nights, and we made plans to light the Advent wreath one more time this evening before tucking it away for the next year. 

The Bethlehem Star, by the way, was constructed from plain paper by my mom, who measured, folded and protracted until she was certain each angle was perfect and each crease permanent.  I spray painted it gold and hot glued a hook to the top back.  I hope to find some way of fortifying it for future use. 

As we have removed a star from the calendar each day of Advent to mark the countdown to Christmas Eve, the kids have placed the stars on the Advent wreath.  This provided a little extra decoration for the table, and gave us a sure and certain place to store our stars.  I am not certain how to best store the calendar once we take it down – that is still a work in progress.  And yes, I will also post instructions on how to make the calendar yourself (soon) so you can be ready for next year!

So, that has been our Advent in a nutshell.  It’s been a wonderful four weeks.  I hope your Advent has been wonderful too! Merry Christmas!!